My friend bailed on our walk and I hate walking alone, I get so bored. My treadmill is arriving on Tuesday though so soon I’ll be able to walk all the time while watching TV/revising! I think it’ll make me stress out a lot less though, gonna make a deal with myself that every item of junk food I eat (healthy food it fine) must be walked off on the treadmill, even if it takes me all night. So I know that no matter how bad I fail, I can make up for it :) SO EXCITED MAN!!! Will be the best present ever ever.
I’m off to make myself a nice big cup of coffee and chill out watching Scrubs :)
The setting was perfect…bright blue sky, 20 degree heat, no clouds, birds tweeting, children laughing…so I don the trainers and go run. 1 mile through I’m feeling great, legs aren’t hurting that much and I’m enjoying it. Then BAM, a wave of nausea hit me, pain ripping through my stomach as I heave into a nearby bush. I had to lie on the grass on the side of the road for 10 minutes while my stomach groaned and cramped. I think it might have been the out of date chicken cous cous I ate for lunch. Ewwww.
Then, like the true fitblr I am, I sprinted the next mile out of sheer frustration at my body.
Now off for a walk then 30 day shred later. Sickness, you shall not get the better of me.
I like to be excessive. I’m an all or nothing kinda girl. I think this is why I get so goddamn drunk, not just tipsy (which I’m working on too), and used to either binge or fast. And often think, if I’m not gonna run 5 miles there’s no point in running at all. Or if my diet isn’t immaculate I might as well give up.
NO MORE. My plan is, if I’m in the mood to eat an entire birthday cake (like today), I’m going to be excessively drinking water. Diet coke, sugar free red bull, tea and coffee will also be acceptable if water just won’t do it. I did this yesterday and it fended off a binge after I sneaked a piece of easter egg and thought fuck it, I’ll have the whole thing. I still get the satisfaction of completely going overboard on something, without the calorie guilt. Simples. I WILL LEARN MODERATION IF IT KILLS ME. Or if it costs me £1000s worth of diet coke hehe. Good plan?
I'm getting quite good at removing the link between food and events.
I ate healthily and the same as always on Easter, and still have a great day. I didn’t go OTT on my birthday, just a wee bit of cake. Today is the Royal Wedding and while so many worldwide are drinking already and having nibbles like pizza and tortilla chips, I’m just chilling with my bran flakes and my cup of tea while enjoying the ceremony. I still love and enjoy food, but I think my attitude towards it has improved so much!
Those days that you just wanna quit. Those days that you think well I've already been fat might as well stay fat. Those days that you see a bag of Doritos and wanna open them up and devour those 300 calories in less than 3 minutes. Those days that you think your goal is too far away and it'll take forever to get there. Those days are the days. The days you can brag about when you're 30-50 pounds lighter. Those days are the ones that build your self-control. Not only for weight loss but self-control for life. Those days are going to be worth it. Those days add up to THE day. THE day you open your eyes and see that you have done it. Finally. You worked hard and you have done it.